My wife said I need more "cute" pics of my son on here. Hopefully this works.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Morning shave
I'd probably slice my head off accidentally, but I totally want one of these. My birthday is in September if anybody needs a gift idea...
Friday, March 30, 2012
Lotto!
Probably gonna stop by and pick up a ticket. A shot at $500 million doesn't happen too often. If I win, donuts for everyone. In the whole world. If I like you, you may have two.
Success!
So my plans for the weekend include a new post or two, but it definitely won't be 8 or 9 like the past couple of days. If you start feeling some withdraw symptoms, it's probably too late for you and no amount of posting can bring you back. That's my unofficial prognosis. For actual medical advice, stop being cheap and go see a real doctor.
Doctor jokes
You're probably thinking, "Another doctor handwriting joke? Kind of a one-trick pony isn't he?"
Sigh. You people. There's just no pleasing you. Take the free laughs and go complain to someone else.
I hate when I see these on FB
I get all mad inside when I see these on facebook. "If this post gets 1000 likes, the National Association for the Preservation of Mentally Unstable Wombats will donate $500 to save a wombat." Or better yet the cutesy, "A mom is someone who is kind and caring and cooks bacon for breakfast. Repost if you have a mom too." Ugh, I throw up a little every time I see one of these on my newsfeed.
Repost if you have an awesome doctor.
How to write a paper for college
First of all, picture is unrelated.
Second, on to the actual post. When I was in high school, a 3 page paper felt long. When I was a freshman in college, 5 pages felt long. By the time I graduated, I would start to write a 10-15 page paper 2 hours before it was due. Here's what I used to make my papers sound more official:
“IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN”… I didn’t look up the original reference.
“A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT”… These data are practically meaningless.
“WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS”… An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
“THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY”… The other results didn’t make any sense.
“TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN”… This is the prettiest graph.
“THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT”… I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
“IN MY EXPERIENCE”… Once
“IN CASE AFTER CASE”… Twice
“IN A SERIES OF CASES”… Thrice
“IT IS BELIEVED THAT”… I think
“IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT”… I polled my roommates and we reached a consensus.
“CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE”… Wrong.
“ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS”… Rumor has it.
“A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS”… A wild guess.
“A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA”… Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of Mountain Dew.
“IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS”… I don’t understand it
“AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES”… They don’t understand it either.
“THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS”… Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.
“A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY”… A totally useless topic selected by my professor
“IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD”… I quit.
Doh!
I'm having some issues with my blogging app on my iPad today. I had 3 posts sitting in the wings waiting to be published and they got deleted. Not cool. I spent at least 15, maybe 20 seconds on each of them. That's time I'll never get back. I'm going to go bang my head against the wall for a bit. Regular posting will be resumed shortly. Probably.
Rise and shine
This is totally how I started off my day at the hospital, minus the gun of course. Apparently weapons are frowned upon in place where they try and make people healthy.
Right or wrong.
A friend of mine shared this on Facebook today. Take a look at the article first and then come back. For those of you too busy (lazy) to read the whole thing, essentially a mom gave birth on the way to the hospital and the hospital showed very poor judgement in the way they handled her case. They administered medications without discussing it with the patient first, they denied access to the baby postpartum, they bullied her into making medical decisions, and they abused the law to take the baby away from the mom.
Let's back up a bit. First of all, we only have one side of the story and it is written from the perspective of a non-medical person (not that there's anything wrong with being "non-medical" but they have a very different perspective going into this). Second of all, I haven't confirmed that this story is true. The site appears reputable, but it is the Internet, so who knows. For all that, we are just going to assume that this really did happen. Finally, this won't be a discussion (for now) on whether midwives are better than doctors, homebirths are better than hospital births, or natural is better than epidurals. That's for another time.
I am currently on my OB/GYN rotation and we had a very similar patient come in earlier this week. However, the staff here at my hospital handled the situation very differently I'm pleased to say. Now when a woman comes in to the hospital having just given birth in an ambulance, a lot of people are going to rush to the scene to make sure both mom and baby are not only okay for the moment but that they both survive in the long term. With this woman's history of trying to deliver by midwife, it's probably safe to assume that the hospital was working blind. They had no medical records, no history of prenatal care, and no information regarding the patient except what EMS gleaned from the ambulance ride over. The medical staff are going to assume the worst and work from there. They are also going to be working quickly to learn as much as they can and do their best to make sure Mom and baby are stable. So I understand if Mom's questions weren't being answered right away.
As I picture the scene, Mom is being rolled in on a gurney. Baby is crying. Nurses and docs are rushing about trying to check vital signs and asses for any emergent medical issues. And Mom is panicking and saying to anybody she thinks will listen, "What's going on? Where's my baby? Why can't I hold my baby? Why won't anyone tell me what's happening?" I understand her concern. I also understand if it takes a bit for her to get some answers and that to her, it probably feels like hours before someone finally talks to her. But for the medical staff, when seconds count, they are trained to stabilize first and answer questions later. So at this point, I think we do have some miscommunication/ lack of communication between staff and patient. But as a patient, Mom needs to understand that by coming to the hospital she is implying that she trusts the medical staff to make appropriate, standard of care, decisions for her in an emergency.
Let's talk about the Oxytocin. Also called Pitocin, this is a synthetic form of a hormone released by the body to stimulate contractions. In the hospital, it is often given to help moms who are not progressing with labor. In this case, Mom had already delivered the baby. So why the oxytocin? Again, since all I have is the non-medical side, I'm going to have to make some assumptions. When oxytocin is given postpartum, it is usually because there is excessive bleeding. Oxytocin causes the uterus muscles to contract and the thought is that this then squeezes the blood vessels shut responsible for the blood squirting out. This may help answer why nobody was initially responding to Mom, they were worried she was losing too much blood and were working to save her life. (Oxytocin may also be given to help with delivery of the placenta, this may also have been the case but it seems much less likely as the nurses were rushing to give the oxytocin to Mom).
Now as far as Mom, Dad, and Baby not being allowed to leave, this is not cool. A hospital, unlike a jail, is a place where you may leave whenever you wish. Most people wait until they are discharged from the hospital by the doctor. But a person can leave AMA (against medical advice) at any time. Most hospitals require the patient sign a waiver saying they won't sue the hospital if something goes wrong because they left early, but you can almost always leave. It is even possible to leave without telling anyone (this is commonly called elopement) and while hospitals don't like it, you are well within your rights to do it. Medically, I can understand why the staff wanted to keep Mom and Baby around, but they legally can't enforce that without a court order.
Threatening to take the baby away unless Mom agreed to medical procedures is called coercion and, if not illegal, is definitely unethical by all medical standards. Forcing a patient to undergo an invasive medical procedure is also known as assault.
Getting the police involved and taking the baby away is a truly terrible thing that happened. From what I know, without a court order, it can't legally be done. I'm very sorry that the parents had to go through that. I can only imagine how distraught I would be if someone tried to take my son away from me.
So that's my perspective on what happened. I think a lot of it was terrible, but some of it is understandable from the other side. What are your thoughts?
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Sometimes it's hard to read a doctor's handwriting
When you can't read the doc's handwriting, just take a guess at what it says and put that on the prescription bottle. Yeah. That's a good idea.
Let's Do Some Q&A
Q. Why would you start a blog in a world already inundated with blogs?
A. Good question.
Q. More specifically, what qualifies you to talk about medicine or manliness?
A. As far as medicine, I'm currently a med student with the hopes of graduating within the next 20 or so years. Recently I fell in love with physiology and how intricately designed the human body is. As I learn real world applications, I'll put them here for the rest of the world to see also.
Manliness is another animal all together. When I think of "manly men" I think of Chuck Norris, Indiana Jones, and Bruce Willis. Since I am essentially all three of those guys wrapped up into a single testosterone exuding man, I thought I should share my experience.
Q. Another blog? Haven't you tried this before and failed miserably?
A. Yes. Thanks for bringing that up. However, in this most recent attempt to share my life, I will do my best to stave off failure for as long as possible.
Q. Why are you doing another blog?
A. I wanted a forum that would allow me to better share my experience of med school and my life as a married man. Hopefully it will allow me to have a creative outlet where I can share cool things I have learned and seen.
Q. What about Be Radical? Is it going away?
A. Don't start freaking out yet. Be Radical is not going away any time soon. And by that, I mean that it will not be deleted from the internets. I will, however, continue to not post on that site and never update it just as I have been doing for the past couple of years.
Q. Why is the address for this site so long?
A. I am a firm believer in using bookmarks to get to pages. If you don't like bookmarks, then getting here each day will require some extra typing. It will be a good workout. You can thank me later for your freakishly strong fingers.
Q. Are you "slow"?
A. Why do people keep asking me this question? My wife likes to say that I'm special. Does that help?
Q. Will your wife be contributing to any of the marriage posts?
A. Maybe...
Q. You have a wife???!!!
A. Not only am I just as amazed by that turn of events as you probably are, I constantly wonder every day if I'm dreaming. The craziest part is that she isn't some three-eyed creature from the black lagoon either. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She runs her own business, works as a full time mom and even has a bachelor's degree. She loves me and is excited for me to be a doc. I basically won the lottery when I tricked, I mean, asked, her to marry me.
Q. How many blogs do you have?
A. Counting this one? Technically seven. How many do I still update? Counting this one? Sort of one.
Q. If I pay you $20 will you stop making new blogs?
A. The only way to know for sure is to try it and see. Send an email to MMM.lawteam@gmail.com and I will send you my address so you can mail the money.
Q. The legal disclaimer on this site looks strangely familiar...
A. First of all, thats not a question.
Q. Will this sort of snark be par for the course on this blog?
A. Short answer? Yes. Long answer? Yessssssssssssssssss.
But seriously, while some snarkiness may appear from time to time, you will find that this blog will have so much more to offer - laughter, tears, anger, inspiration, secrets to success in the real estate market, promises I don't intend to keep, anecdotes, and maybe even antidotes.
Q. How often should I expect updates?
A. For the first month or so, expect multiple updates a day. After that, who knows? Maybe never.
Legal Mumbo Jumbo
After talking with the team of lawyers that handles the legal aspects of my blog, I have been advised to post a disclaimer concerning the nature of what I write.
Let's make a pretty little list, shall we?
1. Any opinions of the Author(s) on the site are or have been rendered based on specific facts, under certain conditions, and subject to certain assumptions, and may not and should not be used or relied upon for any other purpose, including, but not limited to, for use in or in connection with any legal proceeding. (I'm not entirely sure what this means, but I mean it!)
2. The information may be changed without notice and is not guaranteed to be complete, correct, timely, current or up-to-date. Similar to any printed materials, the information may become out-of-date. The Author undertakes no obligation to update any information on the site; provided, however, that the Author may update the information at any time without notice in the Author’s sole and absolute discretion. The Author reserves the right to make alterations or deletions to the information at any time without notice.
3. This site is for entertainment purposes only. In no way should someone feel there is medical advice being dispensed and no doctor-patient relationship will be established.
4. Any information posted about my employment, past or present, is technically fictitious and used for illustrative or educational purposes.
5. This site is maintained and owned exclusively by Benjamin E. Ihms, all rights reserved. All opinions expressed herein are those of the author only, and do not represent the positions of his employers or any medical facility or organization with which he is affiliated.
6. If you need to contact me, please do so through the proper legal channels. My lawyers can be reached at MMM.lawteam@gmail.com
7. If some post appear to be more jumbled, disjointed, or lacking than usual. My son may have gotten hold of the computer and decided to embark on his own quest to gain fame and glory through the wonder of the Internet. His opinions are his own.
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